The Man With the Brown Eyes
by FandomQueen7
Summary: The Winter Soldier is the former Captain America. His eyes are electric blue and his hair a straw blonde. Captain America is the Soldier's best friend, brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Steve's memory has been wiped and he has no clue who Bucky is, how can these friends ever hope to be reunited? Steve as the Winter Soldier / Bucky as Captain America
1. Why Aren't You Dead?

**Chapter 1 :: You're Supposed to be Dead ::**

Bucky's arm quickly shot up, grabbing the Soldier's hand and holding it in place, the knife freezing inches from his face. They froze like that for a second, Bucky staring at the Soldier's dark goggles, unable to see what he looked like except for the shaggy blonde hair that border lines greasy.

After a second though the Soldier kicked out his legs, catching Bucky off guard as he flew backward, landing against a car. It gave the Soldier enough time to draw a gun, barrel pointed at Bucky. He was ready, ready to hear the shot and then pain and then nothing but it never came. When he looked up at the Soldier Sam was there, his knuckles bleeding as the Soldier's goggles were now broken.

Bucky quickly jumped up, quickly coming to stand besides Sam, grabbing his shield as he stood next to the man, ready for the Soldier's next move. He watched as the Soldier ripped off his goggles and his mask fell with it, revealing his whole face. Bucky gasped.

He'd know that face anywhere, by the eyes alone. His electric blue eyes that hadn't dulled a shade, that still popped like the sky. "Steve?" he said, in taking a breath and holding it. He didn't need confirmation though, he'd know the man anywhere. He hadn't changed a bit, except for the metal arm of course. Other than that he looked the same as the night he'd fallen. He looked the same as the night Bucky had thought he had died.

* * *

 _"Bucky!" Steve yelled, dropping his shield as he raced to the hole in the train. The wind whistled all around them, blasting against Bucky's face as they hurtled down the tracks. All around him snow swirled and he helplessly tried to claw his way back onto the train, but his grip was already failing. His hand was slipping from the metal rod._

 _"Bucky hold on!" Steve pleaded, climbing across the piece of train as he reached for Bucky. He stretched his arm as far as he could, his hand outstretched for Bucky to grab. He was so close to being safe once more, being able to continue living with Steve and watching in happiness as he and Peggy got married. Grow old together._

 _It was never to happen though, for a reason Bucky could have never imagined._

 _As he felt his hands fall from the pole a scream escaped his throat but suddenly he was laying on the train, solid ground beneath him as he quickly jumped back up, no visible injuries. The worst injury was yet to come though, and it was the worst kind of all. One that nobody would be able to see._

 _As he looked back over the edge of the train though another scream escaped his throat, this one raw and cold. "STEVE!" he yelled, clutching the rail as he leaned out into the blizzard._

 _He only watched, helpless as the man fell. He watched as his coat flapped around him and his helmet fell off, revealing his blonde hair. As he fell he caught one more glance, one more look of those electric blue eyes before he was gone. He couldn't hear anything but he knew nobody could survive that fall, Steve was dead._

 _Even as he thought it he refused to except it, he pushed the thought away as he sobbed. "Steve!" he yelled again, already inching out the train to try and save him. Hands grabbed him from behind though, pulling him back in._

 _"What the hell are you doing Barnes? Where's the Captain?" Gabe asked, throwing him against the wall to make sure he didn't try and get out again._

 _Bucky only sobbed in response, not having the strength to form words. Gabe gave him a confused frown before looking at the shield that was on the ground then looking out the hole in the side of the train, his eyes finally coming once more to rest on the sobbing Bucky._

 _His eyes widened in disbelief and shock before he pressed a shaky finger to his walkie talkie. "Man down." he said gravely into the speaker, not really believing what was obvious. "The captain is dead." he said, his voice wavering slightly._

 _It only earned him another hard sob that tore its way out of Bucky's throat like a caged animal._

* * *

"Who the hell is Steve?" the Soldier asked in response, giving him a confused glance before Natasha came up behind them, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of Soldier unmasked, his identity out in the open.

Bucky never had the time to respond though, couldn't think of the words, before they were surrounded. Multiple guns pointed at them. "Drop the shield!" Rumlow yelled at Bucky.

Bucky only nodded and dropped it, the shield clattering to the ground as he fell to his knees, Natasha and Sam doing the same besides him.

Bucky couldn't process what was happening, what they were doing, where they were doing. That had been Steve standing there, feet from him. His electric blue eyes open and alive, but robbed of all emotion and memory.

He had thought all wounds healed over time, he'd been wrong though. When Steve had died Bucky had suffered a wound that had only shrunk over time, never faded. When he'd crashed that plane into the arctic snow he'd thought he'd finally see Steve again. Here he stood though.

The wound had been reopened. The sight Steve, his Stevie, standing there. Gun in hand as he glared at them coldly, unaware who he was. Unaware that he wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to be the cold thing he was. It hurt more than when Bucky had watched Steve fall from the train.

He almost wished Steve had stayed dead. Almost.

* * *

"You know me." Bucky told him, standing feet from him. He stood tall and proud, just as Steve had done once upon a time. His feet firmly planted on the ground as his shield hung limply at his side.

"NO I DON"T!" Steve all but yelled at him, his metal fist swinging forward. Bucky barely had time to register a silver blur before he was stumbling backwards, his hand on his cheek as he felt the sticky blood. He didn't falter though, he couldn't hurt Steve.

"Your name is Steven Grant Rogers." Bucky told him, his eyes pleading with Steve. Pleading with him to remember something. Anything that would snap him out of this.

"SHUT UP!" Steve told him, punching him again, this time harder. As his metal fist connected with Bucky's eye he could practically feel the bruise forming. Could already envision the purple and black covering his eye as he stumbled back one last time.

"I'm not gonna fight you Steve. You're my friend." Bucky told him, his hand coming loose of his shield. He heard the shield clatter before falling through the hole and falling into the water far below. His eyes never left Steve's face though. Never left those blue eyes that Bucky had loved for years.

Steve's eyes watched the shield fall before they locked onto Bucky's brown ones. Bucky thought that, for a moment, he saw a flicker of confusion cross his face before his eyes hardened once more the flash of normality was gone. "You're my mission." Steve told him simply.

He closed the distance between them easily and punched Bucky again. This time instead of stumbling backwards though Bucky fell to the ground his head clanging on the bottom of the plane as Steve was on top of him in an instant.

"Your. My. Mission." Steve repeated, each word lining up with a punch that was delivered to Bucky's face. He went on like that until Bucky could feel the blood dripping away, yet his gaze never falter. If he had to die, at least he could see those clear blue eyes one more time.

"Then finish it." Bucky told him, giving up entirely as he went limp in Steve's grasp. "'Cuz I'm with, 'til the end of the line." he said, throwing his own words back at him. After all those years they had never rang so true as right now.

The words seemed to have triggered something in Steve's face and as his metal fist was pulled back Bucky could suddenly see the horror in his face. As Steve fully grasped what he'd done, what he was about to do to his best friend. The words must have brought back something in Steve's mind.

* * *

 _A face. Not a face, but his face.  
His chocolate brown eyes and sleek brown hair. _

_His hand was on Winter's shoulder, grasping it tightly as he spoke. "I'm with you 'til the end of the line pal." the man told Winter, his tone sincere._

 _The words were a promise._

 _Winter trusted the man with all his heart, even though he couldn't even remember his name._

* * *

Just as quickly as the memory came it went, the Soldier's mind barely had time to register the memory before the plane exploded around him and Bucky fell from his grasp, falling to the water far below. The Soldier followed him a few moments afterwards but unlike Bucky he was fully conscious.

Bucky hit the water first and sank to the bottom quickly, the sunlight fading before it all gave way to darkness. Bucky couldn't breathe, all he could inhale was water. As he fought for air he was sure he was dead until he took a huge breath of oxygen.

He could faintly make out a large shape dragging him onto the sand and could only watch in confusion as the shape walked away, not glancing back as he left Bucky on the sand.

When Bucky awake he was laying in a hospital bed, a tube up his nostrils like he was dying or some shit. He glanced to the side and saw Sam sitting there, playing games on his phone.

"On your left ya bastard." he muttered. Sam glanced up at Bucky and smiled, glad to see he was alright. Bucky's eyes were already closing though and as he faded into the darkness again all he could see was Steve.

Steve standing over him, his metal arm pulled back as he prepared to punch Bucky one last time.

Steve standing over him as he gazed at him, concerned. He helped Bucky off the table and he was overcome with awe again, awe at what Steve had become.

Steve was falling underneath him, his frame becoming smaller and smaller as the snow covered his body and he fell to his 'death.'

Steve was standing below him. It was Bucky who gazed down at him in concern as he showed him his papers, showing he was being shipped out tomorrow.

He was sitting away from Steve. Him on the couch while the smaller blonde sat in their window, drawing in his sketchbook absentmindedly. His hands were stained with charcoal and Bucky watched in amusement as his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth like it always did when he was concentrating.

Finally he was standing under Steve once again, smiling up at him. His Stevie. "Hey!" he yelled above the noise, not tearing his eyes away from the other man. "Let's hear it for Captain America!" he shouted, giving Steve a smile before it all turned to black.

The Soldier watched as men bustled around him, preparing the equipment for whatever was to come. As they walked around him they spoke words but the Soldier couldn't register what they were saying. As long as it wasn't directed at him though it didn't matter.

He was distracted, not paying attention when he finally spoke up. "Who was the man on that bridge?" Instead of an answer he got questioning gazes and he noticed that Pierce was standing there, he must have been too distracted to notice him enter. "I knew him."

Pierce was the first one to speak up, "Wipe him. Start over." he told the guards, who nodded at the command and started up the machines.

"But I knew him." the Soldier said as they pushed him back in the chair, strapping his arms down with leather bounds. As they put the mouth guard in him only one thought was running through his head.

He knew that man. He didn't know how but he did.

When the pain came he screamed into the mouth guard. Soon though the memory was soon forgotten.

The man with the chocolate brown eyes was lost once again to nothing.

* * *

 **Yay! Chapter 1. Woo**

 **So thanks for reading the first chapter of my story and feedback is greatly appreciated, whether it's positive or negative.**

 **Feel free to tell me your suggestions and such, no idea is a bad one.**

 **This chapter was mostly set up and re-writing the whole story line with Steve as the Winter Soldier but the next chapters will be a little more original I promise.**

 **I hope to update 3 times a week, maybe more depending on how I'm feeling.**

 **Lots of Love - FandomQueen**


	2. Reunited Kinda

**Chapter 2 :: Reunited. Partially. ::**

After the fall and defeat of HYDRA the Soldier is presented with choices Options. Things he never had before. He doesn't have anybody telling him where to go, whose he's supposed to kill, why he isn't frozen. It's just him and the world that the Soldier knows nothing about.

So where does one go? When your entire life and existence crumbles before you and your standing in the middle of a modern world filled with technology but no memories of how to work it. No memories at all really. The Soldier is presented with a question. What does he do now?

His first response is the man. His face flashes in his mind as he sits. He's currently on the building of some random apartment complex in some no name town in Minnesota. The wind and snow blow around him but he doesn't mind, the Soldier never complains.

As he sits there though, his mask laid off to the side, he thinks about the man. The wash they did was hurried and sloppy, the Soldier could still remember his face and he could remember enough to know that he had liked the man at some point in time.

He shook his head slightly, it was no use. The man was a fantasy, something that the Soldier would never look for. He was an unreal dream that would never come true.

As the snow pushed harder though, wind whipping through his blonde hair he thought he could remember. Remember something about the man. His name? What was his name? The Soldier couldn't remember his name, but he could remember something distant.

* * *

 _The Soldier was sitting in the window. Sunlight fluttered in through the old and torn curtains, bathing is too pale face in a golden light as his blonde hair seemed to practically glow in the light. His blue eyes were focused intently on the paper in front of him and his hands were stained black from charcoal._

 _"Whatcha drawing there …" the man said, coming to stand behind him as he gazed over his shoulder. His chocolate brown eyes traced the figure on the Soldier's paper, taking in the detail he'd taken care to put in his face._

 _"Amazing." he said after a moments of pause, causing the Soldier to blush as he looked up at the other man. His wide and amused grin prompted the Soldier to smile too, a shy smile that was reserved only for this man._

* * *

The memory was faint, the setting disoriented and the words fuzzy but he knew the man had been there. For some reason he felt that the man had always been there for him, that he was a part of the Soldier.

It was horrible for him, trying to piece together what fragments of his life that he'd managed to preserve. Through the years of wipes and tortures he was slowly, very slowly, beginning to put together his past.

He still wasn't sure what his name was. He'd heard others in the town use it, people calling out to other people in greeting. He was fairly confident that the Winter Soldier wasn't his name but until he could figure out who he really was he'd stick by the nickname.

He didn't know the other man's name either. He wished he knew his name more than his own. He called himself the Soldier, could never remember a time when he hadn't. He had known the man's name though. Once upon a time.

It frustrated him, trying to remember a ghost of a name. It always seemed to flutter out of reach right before the Soldier could grab it and every time he failed he would curse himself. For being weak, not being strong or smart enough to figure this out.

He didn't know who he was but it didn't bother him nearly as much as the fact that he didn't know who the man was.

Because as the weeks passed, the Soldier stayed in the small town. Providing for himself and camping out on the roof. As the days passed though, minutes fading to hours as they faded to days as they faded to weeks one thing remained constant.

The man was important. He knew he was known as Captain America, he'd read it in his files but he'd never known his real name. HYDRA had never told him and that was what made the Soldier the angriest.

The more he thought about things, the longer he sat there and pieced everything together he slowly learned just how much HYDRA was responsible for. They had robbed him of this man, they had robbed him of the knowledge of who he was and it was killing him. Quite literally.

One day as he was watching the snow fall besides him the memory came rushing back all at once. It was like somebody had opened a flood gate and suddenly he could picture everything so clearly.

* * *

 _They were standing in a crowded place, people milled about them as the Soldier and the man stood in front of each other, the latter looking highly exasperated._

 _He gazed at the Soldier with a look that said he was totally fed up with him yet he adored him without shame. It was a confusing look but the Soldier knew it was reserved only for him, and it made him smile slightly._

 _"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." the man told him, giving him a look that said 'I mean it' before walking away. He walked backwards, his half smiling face turned towards the Soldier as his brown eyes were locked onto the Soldier's blue ones._

 _"How can I when you're taking all the stupid with you?" the Soldier heard himself saying, casting him a smile teasing smile though it was full of sadness and regret._

 _The man frowned slightly, glanced back at where two women were waiting before walking, forwards this time. Back towards the Soldier. "You're a punk." he told the Soldier fondly, his arms coming to wrap around him in a loose embrace._

 _"Jerk." the Soldier told him in response, his own skinny arms coming to wrap around the man as they embraced for a second or two before the man stood back up. The Soldier found himself wishing he hadn't taken away his arms, wishing that they could have stayed like that forever._

 _With that the man tipped his hat at him giving him one last sad and exasperated smile before turning away and walking to where the two women were waiting. The Soldier watched him walk away and he could feel the name stirring in his mind._

 _As he watched them go he could almost hear the women stating his name in a adoring way as her friend giggled. It was so close, the name he'd been searching for._

* * *

When the Soldier was sure he'd finally figure out the identity of the man the memory faded and he cursed loudly, running a stressed hand through his blonde hair.

How could he not remember? Everything else had been crystal clear. How the man had looked. What he'd worn, the way the girls had looked, what they'd worn, how the enlistment building had looked and smelled yet it wasn't there. His name continued to elude the Soldier even as he wished with all his might that he might now it.

When he couldn't come up with anything he jumped up and quietly, quickly, fell from the roof of the apartment building. His mask and goggled remained on the rooftop, the black gear stood out like a sore thumb among the white snow but he couldn't be bothered.

When he reached the ground he sighed and slipped into an alleyway. Something tugged at the back of his mind, a faint memory fighting it's way to the surface but nothing exactly could be recalled. He only felt a sense of fear though he wasn't sure why. He was alone in the alleyway now but apparently he had a memory when he'd been with somebody else, somebody else who had intimidated him.

He shook it off though and quickly walked to the back of the street where nobody could easily spot him unless they really looked. When he was sure he was alone, with nothing but a brick building on either side he let out a strangled scream and slammed his head against the brick wall to his right, his forehead crashing into the brick as his hands came to rest besides his head.

He stayed like that for a moment before repeated the gesture, this time slamming his metal fist into the wall too. As he did so he let out a cry of anguish followed by Russian curses that were intelligible. He could feel the sticky blood starting to leak through a cut on his forehead but he didn't care.

The pain kept him steady, kept him going in times like these when he was certain of nothing and didn't trust anybody. The pain kept him tied to the world, that was what he told himself though the Soldier knew the real reason why he hurt himself.

He was a coward. Pain was the only familiarity in his life, the only thing that had ever remained constant. Whether it was physical or emotional pain it had always been there. He had left HYDRA but HYDRA would never leave him, not for years, if ever.

So he stood in the dark shadows, slamming his head against the wall until even his enhanced healing factor couldn't keep up with the rapid damage he was doing. He finally pulled back, panting slightly as the red blood dripping into his sight, falling from his face and staining the snow beneath his feet crimson.

"Ятрус. [ **I am a coward** ]" the Soldier said quietly to himself. Leaning against the wall behind him as he watched the blood fall from his forehead. As he stood there he inspected his metal hand, no dents from punching the wall. He was fine for now.

When the cuts had healed an hour or so later he began to repeat the process. Smash his fist, smash his head, wait for a few seconds, then repeat.

He did this for hours, the snow underneath him darkening with every hit. He kept going, pushing, until he didn't even stop to let the wounds heal. Just kept pushing himself over and over, cursing in Russian.

Cursing him weakness. His cowardliness. Cursing how he wasn't a strong man, he was weak. There was no room for weak men in the world.

"Вы должны остановить . Мы не слышим , чтобы причинить тебе боль . Просто остановить вредит себе. [ **You have to stop. We're not here to hurt you. Just stop hurting yourself.** ]" a voice suddenly said from behind the Soldier. It was soft though, a feminine voice the Soldier decided. It sounded vaguely familiar too.

When he turned his he saw the source of the voice, the women with the bright red hair. She stood feet from him, blocking the alleyway so that he was trapped. She spoke words of kindness but the Soldier knew better. People lied and why was she different.

So he did not reply, simply stared at her as the blood dripped from his face and his metal hand twitched slightly, damaged slightly from all the punching.

He'd determined that he would aim for her wounded right leg, shown by how she leaned to the left ever so slightly. Kick to the wound then he would make his escape. He'd been foolish to stay in one spot for so long, he had to keep running. He couldn't let them catch him. He wouldn't go back to his prison. No matter what happened he would sooner die then go back to the place of stone walls.

He took a step forward, reaching for his gun when he appeared and the Soldier froze.

His hair had been trimmed since they last met. It was currently being blown about his face as the wind howled around them, causing him to sigh impatiently as he brushed the strands away. When he looked up at the Soldier he found his eyes. The same chocolate brown eyes that he'd seen so many times in his fuzzy memories. The eyes that had apparently once gazed at him with adoration and exasperation.  
Now they only held affection and hope.

"Steve? Steve what happened!" the man cried, rushing forward to help him but the women grabbed his arm, stopping him from progressing further.

"Barnes he could be dangerous you don't know what you're running into." she told him quietly though the Soldier could still make out every word clearly.

Barnes. A piece to his mysterious puzzle. The man's last name was Barnes.

"I don't care." the man, Barnes, told the women stubbornly. He shook off her arm quickly and then approached the Soldier. Once he got closer his steps slowed and he held up his hands in surrender. This man would not hurt the Soldier.

"Stevie what did you do?" he asked again, his voice quite as he gazed at him in fear and worry.

Steve. His name was Steve. He wasn't just a Soldier, he had a name. A personality. He'd been like this man once, his own eyes alight with exasperation and adoration. It was a comfort to him, knowing that he had been like this man once.

Instead of answering his question though he asked his own, his voice hoarse and gruff since he hadn't used it in months.

"What's your name?" he asked the man, his hands stiffening at his sides as his fingers curled around his gun. The man approached ever closer, his feet crunching in the snow as his eyes flickered from the cuts on the Soldiers forehead to his eyes.

"James Buchanan Barnes. You called me Bucky though. sometimes Buck." the man answered him, coming to stop so that he was inches from the Soldier. He could the puffs that emitted from his mouth every time he breathed.

Bucky. His name was Bucky. Now that he knew he could remember it all too well. The name rolled off his tongue easily and it felt familiar, as familiar as his own newly discovered name.

"Steve, you need to come with me." the man, Bucky, told him. Reaching out slowly so that his arm came to rest on the Solder's elbow.

That wasn't possible though, the Soldier couldn't trust him. He knew that. He couldn't trust anybody, they would drag him back to the prison. The stone walls. The wipes.

"NO!" the word tore out of his throat, as he yanked his arm away the memories pushed away by his fear. "You can't take me back!" he yelled at them, his gun out of his holster now and coming to rest in his hand.

Bucky's eyes softened as he took a step forward, trying to give the Soldier a calm and comforting half smile but he was too far gone. Before either Bucky or Natasha could register what was happening Natasha was on the ground, clutching a bullet wound in her shoulder as Bucky was thrown against the wall.

When they regained enough composure the Soldier was gone, his tracks covered. He'd had enough sense to cover the blood so that there was no trail.

"Stevie." Bucky whispered, drawing in a shuddering breath as he looked around for the man, not willing to admit that he had had him. He'd been so close to him and yet he was alone again, with nothing but the howling wind, a wounded spy, and memories to keep him company.

* * *

 **Yay! Chapter 2! I don't usually update this soon but the chatper just sort of came to me and I can't deny inspiration when I get it so here it is.**

 **Sorry if it's not as good as the first one, I'm sleepy so the writing may not be as nice but I wanted to post it anyway.**

 **Feedback always appreciated it!**

 **Lots of Love - FandomQueen**


	3. We Found You

**Chapter 3 :: I Found You. Well, You Found Me. ::**

The Soldier was regretting his decision. He had made the choice to run from them, the red headed women, the man with the wings, and Bucky. He had thought them a threat, that they were going to take him back to his prison. As the weeks went by thought and his memories began to become clear he knew that it had been a mistake.

He still wasn't sure who exactly Bucky was, but his memories told him that he would never hurt him. That he had at one point protected the Soldier from being hurt. The more and more he remembered he only became more certain that this Bucky man was his friend.

He sat on the fence though, not sure if he could really trust somebody in this world. Were their people that weren't out to hurt the Soldier and bring him back to HYDRA? He didn't know until one day.

Sitting in a small café in Tennessee, the sun was blinding during the afternoon but the Soldier was sitting in the corner of the store, sheltered by the shadows and a canopy overhead. The mug by his hand was still full of the black liquid but had long since gone cold. As he sat in his chair though, watching the people walking about the memory suddenly flooded back to him.

* * *

 _The Soldier was wearing the Captain America uniform. The famous shield was held in his right hand when he was suddenly blasted back. He heard a grunt besides him and saw the Bucky man fly backwards as well._

 _The Soldier crashed into the wall, landing on the ground on his side. As he turned around slightly he saw Bucky pick up his shield and fire at the robot that stood 20 feet from them. It's arms were some kind of gun, filled with some blue energy._

 _He watched Bucky walk towards the robot, firing off bullet after bullet but causing no real damage. The Soldier was suddenly filled with a sense of a dread and a second later a bright blue light was flashed and he saw Bucky fly backwards, out the train._

 _He let out a yell and found himself moving, standing up and grabbing his shield he quickly threw it at the robot. The disk hit the robot in full force and it flew backwards, falling apart. He was all eyes for Bucky though._

 _"Bucky!" he yelled, dropping his shield quickly and moving towards the gap in the train. He could hear the wind whistling around them, the train hurtling down the tracks at a dangerously high speed. Snow was flurrying all around them but the Soldier barely noticed it._

 _He quickly grabbed the metal bar closest to him and began inching his way off the train, moving towards Bucky quickly. His feet were sure as he moved along the edge of the train, he could feel the drop below him but his eyes never wavered from Bucky._

 _"Bucky hold on." he pleaded with the other man, coming to stand on the edge of his piece of wreckage. He quickly put out his arm, reaching for the other man his fingers stretched as far as he could reach. He had to save him, couldn't bear to watch him die while he stood there._

 _He watched as the man's hand fell from the pole, he heard the scream emit from his mouth and before the Soldier knew what he was doing he launched himself towards the man. He quickly grabbed him and threw him much like his shield. He watched the man fly forward and come to lay on the ground of the train. He was safe._

 _The thought gave the soldier peace as he fell towards the ground. His eyes were trained upwards, locked onto Bucky. He could feel his coat flapping around him and he felt his helmet fall off, exposing his blonde hair. Right before the train disappeared from sight his eyes locked onto the other man's chocolate brown ones._

 _When the figure disappeared he felt nothing but peace, knowing that he would survive and that he would live to fight for another day. He expected to die, go to where ever he would go and hopefully see his parents again. What he didn't expect was the violent scream that erupted his throat as his arm was caught on the cliff._

 _The pain was like fire, like his skin was being torn apart and hot coals were being shoved in. It was unbearable and as he landed on the ground he could only clutch his arm desperately, yelling as he watched the blood fall quickly. Right before his vision went dark he saw a dark figure approaching, come to rest besides him._

 _Then there was nothing._

* * *

The cup was crushed in between his metal fingers, the shard flying everywhere as everybody turned their heads to stare at the Soldier. Their eyes going between the pieces of the mug that littered the table, to his metal arm, to his blue eyes, and back to the metal arm.

He didn't notice though, his eyes were trained forward and they were wide with shock. He'd given his life to the man, he'd been prepared to die to ensure that the other man was safe. That the other man was alive and happy.

It must not have been easy for him. Form a couple hazy memories he knew that he'd been in love once, a women whose name he still had to figure out. He knew he'd loved her though, from the way all his memories of her usually involved a smile, a laugh, and his eyes trailing her.

Yet he'd fallen from that train willingly, had known that he was falling to his doom but chose to rescue the other man instead.

In the moment he knew, knew that he could trust the man entirely. If he had been prepared to give his life for the man then he must have trusted him wholly. It had been love. Not the same kind that he'd felt for the women but he had loved this man at one point. Had put his safety above his own. The Soldier didn't know much but he knew that it was love.

So he stood abruptly, the shards falling from his palm as he quickly walked away from the café. He wasn't sure where to go but he knew that he had to find the man. He still wasn't entirely sure who exactly he was but he knew that he needed to be around him. They were to halves that had been separated for long enough. Now that he knew about the man he felt the need to find him, as if he wouldn't be able to function properly without him.

As he quickly grabbed his few things from where he'd been staying he heard his arm screech loudly, the metal one of course. It had been doing that for some time now, he needed to check and clean it, but he couldn't. Only the handlers had been able to check it.

"Last check up on arm, 93.48 days ago." he muttered, stuffing everything into his pockets as he quickly loaded his gun just in case they thought about coming after him for breaking the mug. "Check up is overdue by 63.48 days." he recited, his voice quiet as it echoed loudly in the abandoned and boarded up building.

"Stark could probably fix whatever the hell is wrong with your arm you know." a voice suddenly said from behind him.

Instantly he whirled around, gun in hand as he pointed it at the source of the noise. It was the red headed women.. Natalia he thought her name was. There were vague memories of her, most involving a room filled with dancers. There was one though that was hazy, he was pretty sure he'd shot a person straight though her.

"You can put the gun down." she told him quietly, holding her hands up in surrender. The Soldier couldn't see any weapons on her so he lowered it slightly but his finger was still wrapped around the trigger in case she tried anything.

"BARNES! I FOUND HIM!" she suddenly yelled, glancing over her shoulder as he she did so.

The Soldier flinched ever so slightly at her loud voice. Raised voices usually meant pain. He took a step backwards suddenly, the gun clattering to the ground as he backed up against the wall. "No." he pleaded, covering his face with his hands against some invisible force.

Loud voices, yelling. He'd failed at something and now they were going to punish him. He sank to the floor quietly, his face still covered with his arms as he desperately tried to protect himself from the attacks that would never come. "Please no!" he pleaded with them. He hadn't meant to fail his mission, he hadn't meant to mess up.

* * *

 _"Your worthless!" the man yelled, pressing the electric stick to his side. The current ran through him but he didn't flinch. The Soldier never flinched. It would only bring more pain, more punishment for being weak._

 _"You can't seem to do anything right can you?" he sneered at him, jabbing at him again as the electric current ran through the Soldier's body. He bit his lower lip tightly, keeping in the groan of pain that wanted to escape._

 _"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!" the man suddenly roared, throwing the Soldier to the ground as he fell ungraciously onto the cold stone._

 _Instead of giving him time to answer though the man started kicking him, his boot digging into the Soldier. He brought his hands up quickly, desperate to protect his face from the oncoming onslaught of boots._

 _"Please! Stop!" he pleaded with the guards, curling in on himself as the boot struck his ribcage for the 10th time._

 _The man only laughed though and the Soldier heard a new voice from the corner of the room. "He'd absolutely pathetic isn't he?" the new voice sneered, the other man laughing in agreement as the Soldier felt a boot collide with his nose, blood starting to drip._

 _"Get up!" the man commanded him. As the Soldier went to stand up though the man threw him to the ground again, laughing as the Soldier continued to attempt to get up. Every time he was close to standing though he crumpled again, the man laughing and yelling at him over and over._

* * *

"Stevie! Stevie snap out of it!" a new voice told him gently, shaking him ever so slightly. Stevie? It took him a moment to process that he wasn't in the prison. It took him another moment to remember that he was Steve, he had a name. He was a person.

After a couple of seconds he got his ragged breathing under control and he let his arms drop from his face slowly. He was greeted by a surprising and pleasant sight.

Bucky was sitting in front of him, his brown eyes gazing at him in worry and concern. He seemed to focus only on the Soldier, nothing else. As he gazed around slightly he saw Natalia standing behind Bucky on his right side, the man with wings was standing to the left. Both were looking down at him in worry but neither of their gazes held the same concern that Bucky's did.

"Bucky?" the Soldier said uncertainly his eyes coming back to rest on the man that was in front of him. He..he was Bucky wasn't he? He certainly looked like the Bucky that walked in so many of his returning memories.

In return the man's face broke into a relieved and joyous smile. The Soldier felt a smile tugging at his lips, simply at the sight of the other man smiling. He didn't smile though, the act was foreign to him but he did feel a small piece of happiness, he was glad that the man was happy.

"Ya. It's Bucky Steve. Don't worry, your safe now Steve. Understand? Your safe with me. With us." he told the man quietly, reaching forward gently, his hand coming to rest against the Soldier's cheek. He made no move to push the man away, the touch felt comforting.

"Safe." the Soldier repeated the word quietly. "Safe." he confirmed again, looking at Bucky with pleading eyes. He wished, wished with all his heart that it was true. He was safe though, he could feel it. He was safe with this man.

Bucky nodded, and the Soldier noticed the tears glistening in his eyes. "Your safe." he promised, leaning forward so that his forehead rested against the Soldiers. As they sat there he saw that Bucky had started to cry, the tears leaking out of his eyes softly.

The Soldier and Bucky stayed like that for a while, pressed against each other as Bucky cried tears of happiness and the Soldier tried to get used to the feeling of nice physical contact. Apparently when somebody touched you it didn't mean they were going to hurt him. He liked this.

After a while though Bucky's eyes were dry once more and he leaned back with a smile, he hadn't stopped smiling since the Soldier had spoken. "Come on, we're going to take you somewhere safe. They'll never touch you again." he promised, standing up and offering the Soldier a hand to help him up too.

The Soldier pushed his hand away though and stood on his own, he was strong. He didn't reply to his words only nodded and followed him out of the building to where Natalia and the man with wings were waiting silently.

"We going back to the tower?" the winged man asked, glancing at the Soldier for a moment before his eyes went back to Bucky.

Bucky nodded, and started walking away. The winged man fell in step next to him but the Soldier trailed behind slightly. He walked behind the other three for a moment before Natalia fell back next to him. The Soldier didn't know her, didn't trust her but he let her walk besides him.

Happy that he'd found Bucky and that he had been promised that he was safe. He believed him too, he was pretty sure he would believe anything that Bucky said.

That tended to happen when you were in love.

* * *

 **So chapter 3! I'm updating really often… like I don't usually do this but I'm loving this story and inspiration just hit me again so have another chapter lol.**

 **As always comments are greatly appreciated and criticism is always welcome, as long as it's phrased nicely.**

 **Lots of Love - F.Q.**


	4. Introductions

**Chapter 4 :: Introductions ::**

The Soldier followed the trio back to a car. It was a semi new Volkswagen. It was jet black and it had several chips and scratches along with a severe dent in the bumper. It still functioned though and when the Soldier climbed into the backseat he found that the inside was very clean.

Bucky and the winged man sat in the two front seats while the Soldier and Natalia sat in the back. It was quite for the first few minutes they drove. Bucky and the winged man talked in hushed tones but the Soldier pretended not to hear their conversation. Instead his gaze focused on Natalia, trying to place why he knew her so well.

He was lost in thoughts when Bucky suddenly spoke up from the front seat. "Steve." the Soldier gave no response, "Steve." Bucky tried again a little louder. Still the Soldier gave no indication that he'd heard him.

Finally Natalia poked him in the side lightly, "Hey. Your name's Steve remember?" she told him, gesturing towards Bucky who was glancing back at him as the winged man continued to drive.

The Soldier nodded at this, his name was Steve. He was sure of it, but it was still a new thing to him. Having an identity. A name, a personality, being a real person with traits and all. Capable of emotion. It was all something new to him. He looked at Bucky expectantly, waiting for him to speak again now that he had his attention.

"Guess I should have introduced you huh? Well you already know that I'm Bucky." he told the Soldier, who nodded once. He remembered that he was Bucky. "Well this is Sam Wilson." he told him, nodding towards the winged man who was driving them. "And that's Natasha Romanoff." he informed the Soldier, nodding at Natalia.

The Soldier looked at Bucky in confusion while he glanced over at Natalia, or Natasha? He wasn't sure if either he'd misheard Bucky, which was very unlikely, or if he's remembered something wrong, also unlikely. But why did she have two names? The Soldier had been sure her name was Natalia Romanov.

Natalia / Natasha noticed his confusion and piped up easily, "If he remembered anything about me Barnes he'll probably remember me as Natalia, not Natasha." she informed Bucky, giving the Soldier a small smile, assuring him that he wasn't mishearing things and that he wasn't going crazy.

"You have two names?" The Soldier asked questioningly, curios as to what her real name was or if she did in fact have two names. He hoped he didn't have two names, remembering Steve was hard enough, he didn't need another name on top.

Natalia / Natasha shook her head in response, "No, my real name is Natalia Romanov but when I moved to America I renamed myself Natasha Romanoff. You can call me either one though, I don't mind." she explained. The Soldier was still left with the question of why she needed to change her name and why had she moved to America but he kept silent. He still wasn't sure he trusted this Natalia / Natasha. The way her eyes were to bright with mischief and how they kept darting around as if she expected something to happen. He also didn't appreciate the fact that he could see the hand gun on her waist when she had told him she was unarmed.

She was too crafty for the Soldier. She was strong though, even he could see that. She was obviously somebody the others respected and feared a little, that made her dangerous.

Sam Wilson, the winged man. He didn't remember anything about him, wasn't even sure he'd met him before. He had a kind smile though and he seemed nice enough. The Soldier was confident that he wasn't a threat though.

Bucky was difficult to place. The Soldier was screaming to kill him. He was a mission that he had failed and he never failed. He was supposed to be dead but he wasn't. That confused the Soldier, he remembered shooting him but for some reason he was also sure that he had saved him. So as one side of his mind screamed for the man's death another side was ready to protect him at all costs. It was a strange thing really.

He stopped thinking about it though and his attention was back on Bucky as he had started speaking again. He was facing forward now so as the Soldier listened his eyes watched Natalia / Natasha, ready to stop her if she made any threatening move towards him.

"We're going to New York, it's just a couple of hours from here. Once we get there we're gonna take you to Stark Towers where you'll meet the other Avengers." Bucky told him, sounding happy at the idea of returning to New York with the Soldier. There was something though… the name Stark. It was all too familiar to him, yet he couldn't place why.

"You'll be safe there Steve, guarantee it. You'll have your own room and it'll be close to mine just in case you need me." the Soldier appreciated how he hadn't said 'in case you try to kill somebody' which he knew was what Bucky was thinking. "You'll be around people that won't ever try to hurt you and you'll have everything you'll ever need. It'll be amazing don't worry. Nobody will ever hurt you once we get there and…" Bucky trailed off when he realized the Soldier was no longer listening.

Somewhere in his spiel his eyes had started to droop and he'd fallen asleep without a sound. First time he'd slept in what seemed like forever. When they froze him he didn't really sleep so he was very low on rest and had gained the ability to fall asleep in seconds anywhere he could. So he lay against his seat, eyes closed lightly as if he were to wake at any moment.

"Shhh. Baby's sleeping." Natalia / Natasha said with a smile, earning a chuckle from Sam and a scowl from Bucky.

* * *

"Steve we're at the tower buddy." Bucky told him, while somebody poked him in the side to wake him up quickly. The moment the hand connected with his side though he had her wrist locked in his own hand, glaring at Natalia / Natasha.

"Don't touch me." he told her quietly, before releasing her hand as she rolled her eyes at him. The Soldier decided that he didn't like her very much, she was too cheeky for her own good. Obviously she covered up her fear with humor and sly comments. Bucky said nothing at the matter, turning a blind eye to the two bickering in the backseat.

The Soldier looked out the window as the car was parked. In front of him lay a skyscraper that looked like it could touch the clouds from where he was sitting. It was covered in silver paneling and near the top he could see a huge 'A' in some turquoise metal.

He waited until Bucky exited the car to follow him, opening the door quietly as he slipped out. His hand instinctively went to his side where his hand gun was concealed. It was a comfort to have the weapon near his side. Behind him he could hear the other two exit the car and soon Bucky was standing on his left while Sam stood on his right and Natalia / Natasha stood next to him.

"Sam go tell Stark we're back and that he needs to look at.." he paused to wince slightly as the Soldier moved his metal arm, causing a loud creak noise and some sparks to come off the metal. "needs to look at Steve's arm right away." he finished.

Sam nodded and headed into the tower. The Soldier soon lost track of him as he was swallowed by the crowds of people and was soon gone, at least for a couple of minutes.

"Does it hurt?" Bucky suddenly asked the Soldier, glancing at him and his arm. The concern in his eyes made the Soldier almost regret moving his arm, he didn't want the other man to so obviously worry about him.

"He'll be fine." Natalia / Natasha piped up from besides him, waving off Bucky's concern with ease. The Soldier was grateful that he didn't have to speak now but he was also upset that she had dismissed the other man so easily. The more time he spent with her the more he seemed to dislike her.

"I didn't ask you Natasha. He'll be fine once he's well rested and properly nourished." Bucky snapped at her, giving her a scowl while she rolled her eyes, obviously not as concerned about the Soldier was Bucky was.

After the two finished bickering Bucky lay a gentle hand on the Soldier's shoulder and started walking into the crowd of people. He followed the man the best he could, trying to avoid people as he walked but it was so noisy and all the commotion was like a stab in his brain.

When they finally reached the silence of the elevator the Soldier pressed a hand to his forehead, trying to calm himself down now that he was away from the noise.

"I'm going to go see Clint. Come find me if you need anything." Natalia / Natasha spoke up from besides the Soldier. Her words were directed at Bucky though and the other man nodded in response, keeping a careful eye on the Soldier as he steadied his breathing.

The elevator stopped on a floor and the Soldier moved to get out but Bucky kept him in place. Instead Natalia / Natasha moved to get out off the elevator. The Soldier caught sight of a man waiting for her. He had dirty blonde hair and slightly tanned skin and was looking at him curiously though he said nothing as the Soldier glared at him, daring him to speak.

"It's been fun. Try not to upset Stark too much." Natalia / Natasha told them as she walked out, casting them a wink before the elevator doors closed once more and the Soldier fell backwards slightly, leaning against the railing for support.

"Steve? Steve can you hear me?" Bucky said, on him in an instant. The Soldier managed to give him a short nod, before the memory took over him.

* * *

 _Her hands trailed the side of his face, her soft fingers trailing his cheekbones. He could feel her breath against his face as he gazed down at her. Her deep green eyes were locked onto his own blue ones as she leaned in dangerously close, her mouth inches from his. Her vibrant red hair lay down her back in waves as her other hand was tangled in his own blonde hair._

 _"Steven you're going to be the death of me." she told him quietly, her hand coming to rest against his cheek lightly as his own hands were against her back, pressing her closer to him._

 _"Then we'll enjoy our last moments." he replied in an equally quite tone. She only smirked devilishly, and he could no longer take it._

 _He closed the small gap between them and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her furiously. He hadn't known what real joy was for years but in that moment he was sure that this was it. In that moment of bliss he was sure that he could be human one day too that he and Natalia could be human together._

 _Away from the Red Room and HYDRA, they could be alone and free. Somewhere where nobody would challenge them and nobody would question their love for each other._

 _When she finally pulled away she smiled up at the Soldier, a rare thing in the Red Room there was hardly anything to smile about. This was the rare exception. "Are you sure you've never kissed somebody before?" she teased lightly, carefully untangling her hands form his hair as she headed away. They couldn't spend too much time together lest they were caught._

 _As she was out the door though she cast the Solider one last parting wink and he heard her whisper, "It's been fun." before the door closed behind her quietly, leaving him alone with the taste of her lips on his._

* * *

It seemed like an eternity later when the Soldier's attention finally returned to Bucky when in reality it had been around 15 seconds. He waved Bucky off easily as he stood back up. His face had been drained of color and his eyes were wide with shock.

"Steve are you alright?" Bucky asked him, shaking him slightly to get his attention.

The Soldier nodded, shaking himself slightly to get a hold of himself which wasn't a get idea since sparks flew off his metal arm when he moved it. "Whenever I remember things." he told Bucky in explanation, not having the time to explain in detail.

Bucky smiled at that, "Got it. That's good though, that your remembering things. That's great buddy." he told the Soldier, glad that he was remembering things. Even if he couldn't fathom what the Soldier had just remembered.

The rest of the elevator ride the Soldier was silent, trying to remember something else about Natalia / Natasha. Where had they been? Why had she left so suddenly? Why had he even kissed her? How long have they known each other?

All the questions were floating around his mind and he wasn't even listening to Bucky as he kept talking, explaining everything to him.

He didn't both to pay attention to Bucky until the elevator doors opened once again and there stood Sam and another man he'd never met before, at least that he could remember. He had dark hair and a goatee along with a mustache, all three were graying slightly.

"This is man you never shut up about Cap?" the man asked, stepping towards the Soldier and looking him over, though his eyes lingered on his metal arm. However his gaze was just curiosity, usually when people stared at his arm it was out of disgust, but not this man.

"I've never talked to you before." the Soldier told him. Then he frowned, confused at why he'd responded to the nickname 'Cap'. He couldn't remember anything about it but there was something familiar about it.

The man gave him a look that showed he was just as confused as the Soldier was but luckily Bucky didn't seem to be puzzled in the slightest. "I'll explain later." he told the man who just shrugged, "For now I need you to fix his arm." he said, gesturing towards the Soldier's metal arm.

"Can you move it for me?" the man asked the Soldier, turning away to grab some tools from his table as he looked at the Soldier, waiting. He nodded and moved his arm easily. The metal contraption let out a loud and sickening screech and sparks flew from his elbow and up. It sounded painful, and it was, but he didn't even show any sign that he felt anything.

The man sighed in response, gesturing for the Soldier to sit down on a stool that stood nearby. "Have a seat, this might take a while." he informed Bucky and the Soldier. The latter nodded stiffly and took the seat without comment. Bucky pulled up a stool and sat next to him, obviously not going anywhere, which was fine with the Soldier.

He wasn't sure who he could trust at this point and Natalia / Natasha was an entire mystery to him at the moment but he knew that he could count on Bucky if all else failed.

He could always trust the man with the brown eyes.

 **Alright next chapter!  
Now I just wanna say that in the comics the Winter Soldier and Natasha are a canon couple and they did have a romantic relationship in the Red Room so I didn't include it just because I ship Romanogers [because I don't.] **

**Speaking of which I haven't really decided who, if anybody, Steve would be romantically involved with sooo go ahead and tell me who you think should be paired with Steve. Stucky? Romanogers? Stony? I wanna know what you guys think.  
**

 **Feedback is always appreciated!**

 **Lots of Love - F.Q.**


	5. Confusion

**Chapter 5 :: Confusion ::**

The Soldier pushed Natalia / Natasha out of his head and instead focused on the task at hand, making sure his arm didn't kill him.

"You know anything about the arm itself?" The man asked the Soldier, not bothering to glance at him as he rummaged around for the tools.

The Soldier shook his head, he didn't know anything specific about the arm. The only thing he could remember is when it had been last checked which wouldn't be very helpful in this situation. Apparently the man took his silence as an answer and sighed, turning back around with his arms full of tools the Soldier didn't know existed.

"JARVIS run a scan, then pull up the blue prints, I'm gonna go in and have a look." the man said, apparently not speaking to nobody. The Soldier was confused as to who was going to scan his arm until an voice spoke up from seemingly the air, "Right away sir."

The Soldier looked around for the source of the voice but couldn't find any. He opened his mouth to ask them where this JARVIS man was but he was interrupted by the man speaking before him.

"Where… is there a place I should open it?" he asked, his voice timid for the first time. He wasn't sure he wanted to mess with a man's arm, especially because it looked like it hurt like hell.

The Soldier shrugged and proceed to pry open one of the plates, giving way to sparking wires and connecters that were smoking intensely. He gritted his teeth slightly, the only sign that he was in immense pain.

"Oooookkkk then." the man said, taking the Soldier's arm and inspecting it carefully. After a few minutes he spoke again, this time his tone one of disgust, "This is just horrid. Whoever made this thing obviously was working with some old technology but they did do good with what they had. It's connected to his nerves so every time he moves it he can feel it which means you must be hurting very severely right now." he said, looking up at the Soldier for confirmation. He gave a single nod.

Bucky's eyebrows furrowed in worry, "Well can you fix it? I don't feel like having Steve go around caring a fire hazard at his side." he said, slightly sarcastic but the Soldier didn't argue.

The man scoffed in response, "'Course I can fix it. I'm Tony Stark I can fix anything." he said matter-of-factly as he pulled a tool that the Soldier couldn't name from his arms and began poking around the arm, moving several things .

Bucky only rolled his eyes, watching the man, Tony Stark, carefully to make sure he didn't hurt the Soldier. "Steve don't be afraid to say something if it hurts too much." he told the Soldier, waiting for a nod before his eyes turned back to the arm and Tony.

"So as long as we're sitting here this is good a time as any to tell me why exactly this man responded to the name Cap when your Captain America." Tony said, never looking away from the gears in front of him.

Bucky sighed and the Soldier glanced at him in confusion. He knew that Bucky was Captain America, it had been under his file, under alias, but he was also Captain America. Once upon a time he remembered it clearly. In a few of his memories he remembered throwing the shield and wearing the costume. He had most definitely been Captain America but so was Bucky. The thought was making his brain hurt.

"Well… once upon a time Steve was Captain America. Back in the 1940's when we were both actually just 20 year olds Steve was this skinny little bean pole, like 5 foot high and he weighed about 90 pounds. He had all this illnesses so he couldn't join the army, even though he tried like 5 times." he began, just a hint of exasperation in his voice, "Well eventually Dr. Abraham Erskine, a German scientist, gave Steve the chance to be the ultimate soldier. I was off fighting already so I wasn't there to hit him upside the head and tell him he would be stupid if he agreed to experimentation but he agreed anyway." he told them, shaking his head at the Soldier's foolishness even though he himself smiled ever so slightly. "So the experiments were successful and this Steve came out, he became the best soldier around and soon became Captain America, sweetheart of the U.S. of A. Everything was fine and dandy until Steve here went on a mission to single handedly rescue about 400 men from a HYDRA lab, myself included." he said with a frown, shaking his head at the Soldier.

Tony had listened to the whole thing intently and glanced up at Bucky when he paused though his eyes soon went back to the arm when it sparked again. "I think I can fill in the rest for myself. At the HYDRA lab they gave you a knock off serum that turned you into this and sometime afterwards he got himself killed and you became Captain America." Tony supplied, nodding at his own story.

"HE DID NOT GET HIMSELF KILLED!" Bucky suddenly yelled, standing up abruptly, as the stool went flying backwards. The effect was immediate, as soon as the man's voice had been raised the Soldier had ripped his arm away from Tony.

He quickly fell backwards, backing away from the other two quickly as he looked around fearfully, obviously not seeing that he wasn't in a HYDRA lab. Bucky wanted to punch himself for forgetting that they couldn't yell in front of Steve but instead approached him quietly, Tony watching in confusion behind him.

The Soldier was covering his face with his arms, the metal one sparking profusely. He was muttering under his breath, muttering in rapid Russian.

"Говард и Мария Старк. Миссия 1837Missiya был полный. Кузница аварии . Снайпер выстрелил обоих. Сын Энтони Старк был еще жив . Миссия 1927. **[Howard and Maria Stark . Mission 1837. Mission was Complete. Looked like accident. Sniper shot both. Son Anthony Stark was still alive. Mission 1927. ]** " he told Bucky, his sentence snapping off mid way as he remembered where he was. It was too late though, the damage had been done.

Tony was already translating the Russian words and soon his eyes were wide with shock, he wasn't quite sure how to feel. He was helping the man that murdered his parents? This had to be new.

Bucky reached out to help the Soldier back to his feet but he waved him away so Bucky pursed his lips and let the Soldier stand up by himself. He went back to sit on the stool, acting as if nothing had happened.

Bucky followed cautiously as Tony quickly trashed the words, not wanting the others to see. "Well that was unexpected, now can we please just finish this god damn arm?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light and humors though it was hard.

Bucky nodded and fell silent, just like the Soldier. They sat side by side, watching Tony as he worked on the metal arm, trying not to catch himself on fire while he tried to figure out just what to do with the fact that he had caught his parents assassin.

* * *

The Soldier's arm was back to normal, they'd even scraped the red star off the top. They hadn't replaced it with anything yet, just left the bare metal but the Soldier didn't mind. It made him feel a little safer without the red star there as a constant reminder of what he'd come from.

He was currently sitting in one of the chairs in Tony's living room. He was sitting stiffly on the edge of the cushion, like he was ready to run at the first sign of trouble. Around him were more people then he could remember.

Bucky was sitting to his immediate right, sprawled over the seat like an eagle. On his left sat a very muscular and large man with bright golden hair. Next to Bucky sat Sam on the couch, Natalia / Natasha next to him. The Soldier made sure not to make eye contact with her.

Then there was the man with a bow, next to him sat the science man with the curly black hair and glasses. Finally there was Tony and a women who had dark brown hair with matching eyes. The Soldier remembered she was a witch of some kind, she shared a seat with a red man who had a golden stone in his forehead.

Bucky cast the Soldier an encouraging smile before turning towards the others. "Alright so you all know that this is my friend Steve Rogers, and before I go any further no yelling. Never raise your voice around Steve, it triggers memories from his HYDRA capture so don't do it unless you feel like getting punched." he told them, waiting for them all to nod before continuing, "Alright so Steve you already know me, Sam, Natasha and Tony. Well the man sitting next to Natasha," he pointed to the bow and arrow man, "That's Clint Barton." Clint gave him a little wave, "The man with the glasses, that Dr. Bruce Banner." Bruce gave him a tiny smile, the Soldier instantly liked him, "The woman with the brown hair, that's Wanda Maximoff and the android sitting with her is Vision." they both gave him a nod in greeting, "and finally the man sitting next to you is Thor." Thor gave him a wide grin and clapped him on the back in greeting. The Soldier liked him too.

He committed all their names to memory, glancing at them all one more time so that he could remember them when the time came. Bucky, Sam, Natalia / Natasha, Clint, Tony, Bruce, Wanda, Vision, Thor. Once he had everybody memorized he nodded at Bucky, his posture relaxing ever so slightly as he leaned back in the chair a little bit.

"Alright so since Steve is staying with us for a little while I'm laying down a couple of rules and their non negotiable so don't even try to argue." Bucky said, giving pointed looks to Natalia / Natasha and Tony who both rolled their eyes, "I've already told you what rule number one is, no yelling around Steve. Only bad things come out of it. Rule number two don't make Steve mad." the Soldier could have sworn he saw Bruce snicker slightly, "I'm not sure what will happen but I think it's safe to assume that it can't be anything good. Rule number three… well I guess those are the only two official rules but if one of you decided to pick on Steve I won't be afraid to punch you." Bucky finished, shooting them glares.

After that the other Avengers talked among themselves, loosening up a bit. Bucky was engaged in a conversation with Sam, though he cast frequent looks at the Soldier to make sure he didn't go anywhere. The Soldier made small talk with Thor, deciding that he liked the Norse God. He was very friendly and hard to kill, two things that usually didn't go together.

Even as he listened to Thor he kept glancing at Natalia / Natasha, trying to decide whether it would be alright for him to ask to talk to her. Eventually Bucky noticed his frequent looks that were in the red heads direction and paused his conversation with Sam to turn to the Soldier.

"You can talk to her if you want, it's fine. Steve you don't have to afraid here, we won't be mad at you if you need to talk to one of us, especially if it concerns a memory." he told him gently, giving him a small smile.

The Soldier nodded In thanks and stood up. He nodded at Thor once in goodbye before he made his way over to Natalia / Natasha. She glanced up at him as Clint stopped talking about whatever and gave him another wave and a smile as Natalia / Natasha looked up at him, waiting for him to speak first.

"I..I need your help. I remembered something about you and I was hoping you could explain." the Soldier told her quietly and he swore he could see her pale ever so slightly, only his trained eyes would have been able to catch it.

Natalia / Natasha shrugged as she stood up, stretching slightly. "Sure winter boy. We'll be right back Clint." she told him, while the Soldier frowned at the nickname. He didn't like it but he didn't wanna tell her so because he needed answers.

So they made their small room away from the others. The minute the door was closed Natalia / Natasha collapsed in a chair and let her skin pale dramatically. "What..what did you remember?" she asked him quietly, afraid of what he would know about her.

The Soldier sighed, preferring to stand whether then sit. "We… we were in some sort of room built for dancers. It was just you and me and I kissed you and you seemed to like it but you had to leave because you didn't want us to be caught." he explained briefly while she sighed loudly.

She nodded at the chair in front of her, "Have a seat. So I'll give you the short answer because I don't wanna be here too long and I don't wanna overwhelm you with information lest James kills me. We were in a place they call the Red Room, it was a top secret training facility for spies and assassins like me. You were there to teach us some new fighting techniques and we started taking, exchanging conversations whenever we could, stealing glances right under their noses. One night though you were up late, said you couldn't sleep and I had managed to get out of bed without getting seen and so you finally kissed me and I did like it at the time. Except they… they found out about it and the next day you were gone. Wouldn't see you for years and our reunion didn't exactly go the way I would have liked" she told him, pursing her lips as she self consciously rubbed a spot on her side.

The Soldier frowned, trying to piece everything together, working with his limited memory didn't exactly make it easy. "I shot you." he finally remembered with horror as he looked up at Natalia / Natasha, his eyes wide. "Soviet slug, you were in the way of the target so I killed him, the bullet going right through you." he recalled quietly while the woman nodded.

"Don't worry about it though. It's fine." the women assured him, some color returning to her face now that he knew the truth about their past together.

The Soldier shook his head slightly though, hesitating before asking his next question. "Are… are you dating anybody?" he asked her, a little embarrassed to actually ask what he was wondering.

Luckily she got what he was hinting at and sighed, shaking her head as she stood back up. "I'm not dating anybody and before you ask I don't know about us. I…I don't know if you're the same man you were back in the Red Room." she told him quietly before exiting the room.

The Soldier stood there for a few more minutes, shocked and confused. As he stood there he could remember faint things about their time together. Not enough to make a memory though, just small fragments of a memory.

The brush of their hands, him brushing a lock of her red hair, stole glances, his hands wrapped her waist. They only made him more confused though. He didn't know what to think about Natalia Romanov.


End file.
